Batman to the Rescue

It had been a long hard day in the village of Tambapmining and Kathy and I were tired. So we went to bed early for a well deserved rest. We had lain there only a few minutes, however, when Kathy nudged me and said quietly, “There is something in the house.” “Well, Duh,” I thought to myself. There are rats, geckoes, lizards, probably a snake or two and about 50,000 mosquitoes in the house. And it sounds like some kind of animal is walking around on the roof. “No.” she said, “Something is flying around the house.” Then I heard it too – a bat. “Wonderful,” I told her “Maybe it will eat some of those mosquitoes. Now go to sleep.” For some reason she didn’t share my perspective. She burrowed under the sheet and told me in no uncertain terms that I was to get out of the mosquito net and kill the creature before it bit someone. A biting bat seemed to me to be a good reason NOT to get out of the mosquito net but I could see that she wasn’t going to appreciate that bit of rationality. This was not the time for rationality. It was a time for decisive action. My decisive action.

Obviously there would be no sleep until the winged vermin was disposed of. So I got up, turned on every light in the house, grabbed a rake, and went forth to battle the forces of darkness (well, ok, force of darkness – and not a very big force at that. Maybe more like an influence of darkness). I quickly discovered how difficult it can be to hit a radar equipped flying mouse with a rake while not destroying the house in the process. The bat was zipping back and forth the length of the house and seldom found itself in the same room with rake boy. I would hear it in the bedroom so I would charge in there but by that time it would be on the veranda. And so on, and so on, and so on, and so on. My humor, which had already taken a beating during the day, began a long trek south.

This was about the size of the winged intruder.

Every now and then, the bat would fly by emitting little bat laughs while I flailed away with the rake. I was beginning to think that maybe I could just go stay with friends for the night when I heard it again on the veranda. I rushed out there in time to see it swooping around the light eating bugs and mosquitoes. Nice bat. And as a reward for this exemplary behavior I smacked it with the rake as it went by. It hit the wall and dropped onto the floor. I scooped it up and took it in to show Kathy. For some reason she was less than interested in seeing it. Instead she hid under the sheet and expressed rather vociferously her desire that I just take it out and throw it away. Finally it was back to bed but by that time sleep was out of the question. So I laid there listening to the sounds of the jungle and the footsteps of the animal walking around on the roof and basked in the glow of my victory over the influence of darkness.